My Relationship Is Stressing Me Out! How To Deal With Stress In A Relationship

We all need stability and support in our relationships, especially when we are under stress. Relationships are meant to offer us solace and peace but did you know that sometimes, relationships can also be our source of stress? 

While research suggests that positive relationships can boost your mental, emotional, and physical health, frustrating relationships can contribute equally to your stress. 

Arguing with your partner is common and so is experiencing stress in a relationship, but only when it’s in small amounts. Did you know that arguments, when productively made, can improve your communication skills? 

Openly communicating with your partner about their (and your) stressors can help manage relationship stress. Experiencing relationship stress now and then is common and even okay but the problem arises when relationship stress begins to negatively impact the bond between you and your partner. 

If you’re beginning to think, “My relationship is stressing me out”, then buckle your belts, and let’s explore some of the reasons why this happens and how to deal with stress in a relationship. 

How Does Stress Affect Relationships?

When you and your partner keep ignoring each other’s stressors or avoid bringing them in conversations, then this action can only increase the relationship stress in the future. And let’s not forget, stress can go to and forth, causing hurtful actions or words, further hurting your relationship. 

This can eventually lead to depression, isolation, and everything that can result in emotional distance between you and your partner. Not only emotional, but stress in a relationship can also cause physical issues like stomach aches, skin problems, increased risk of heart problems, and high blood pressure. 

Psychologically, the stress in a relationship can also cause you to lose respect toward your partner or even cause a lack of intimacy in the relationship. Let’s look at an example; When you’re stressed – either from an internal or external source – you may speak or act in the heat of the moment during an argument with your partner. These mindlessly spoken words or actions may look like accusations or personal attacks to your partner. 

Whether we like it or not, words do speak more than actions, and saying something mindlessly (even though it might feel justified) can have negative consequences and can even contribute to chronic stress in the relationship. 

Sometimes, your stressors may not even involve your partner or your relationship. Other aspects stress may affect can include: 

  • Pets
  • Children
  • Sleep
  • Relationships intimacy
  • Digestion
  • Blood pressure
Stress in a relationship can affect your mental and emotional health, resulting in; 

  • Relationship anxiety 
  • Overanalysing every little thing
  • Unable to regulate your emotions
  • Feelings of depression, causing isolation or social withdrawal
  • Sleep issues like insomnia 

How To Deal With Stress In A Relationship?

To improve your bond with your partner and boost your relationship longevity, here are some tips to help you manage relationship stress. 

  • Identify The Symptoms Of Stress

Stress has become so common these days that it can be hard to spot the symptoms of stress. Because of this, we may not even be aware of the toll it might be inadvertently taking on the different aspects of our lives. Take some time to identify the symptoms of stress like being moody than usual, teary, overly excited, or taking substances to numb the pain. Moreover, your relationship with your partner may also suffer from stress in other ways. These include instances wherein intimacy and sex have become increasingly rare, neither you nor your partner isn’t listening to each other, and you or your partner spends more time with other people than with each other. If you recognize these signs in your or your partner’s actions, then it can be easier to take the right step to manage the stress in a relationship. 

  • Talk To Your Partner

After being in a relationship for years, sharing your problems with your partner and asking about their day can be skipped. This kind of action can also add flame to your relationship stress and anxiety. So when you find yourself wondering if your relationship is stressed then sit down with your partner and have a nice long talk. Listen to them patiently and let them share their stress and problems. 

Although it’s sometimes scary to talk to your partner because the conversation might show you and your partner are compatible, doing so can help minimize the stress in your relationship. This is especially true if the relationship is new and you’re still getting to know each other. Hence, don’t be afraid to converse with your partner if you don’t want your relationship to fail because of stress. Prepare some questions to ask in a new relationship so you can get answers that will help you better understand your partner. This way, you can deal with stress in your relationship more effectively.

    • Do Some Exercises, Together

Did you know that exercising can be a great way to release stress and boost your endorphin levels? Well, this can work tenfold when you and your partner exercise together. Physical exercises like yoga, gyming, swimming, or simply going on a run with them every day can keep the stress in a relationship away. Also, you can do couple workouts every day. When you perform your daily exercises with your partner, you can spend quality time together while incorporating fitness and making the relationship less stressful. 

  • Try Stress Management Activities

No one admits to being stressed in a relationship so if you find yourself being stressed in your relationship, you can try to sit with your partner and make a list of stress-reducing activities you can do together. You can try going for couples massages, listening to music together, reading a book, or playing board games together. 

On the other hand, traveling to your favorite destination can be an excellent way to de-stress and revitalize your relationship if you and your partner are willing to spend more time together. For example, you and your lover can go to the beach to relax and have fun. If both of you love being outdoors, you can also go camping and enjoy each other’s company to reduce the stress in your relationship.

  • Offer To Help Your Partner

When you offer to help your partner, you indirectly show your support and love. You can ask them what you can do to help them and make things smoother or can help them with household chores to ease their stress. When someone is stressed, they need non-judgmental support. This step can help reduce relationship stress and build healthier relationships. 

  • Improve Your Communication

Another way to manage relationship stress is to talk things through, openly. Words hold so much power so use them effectively and communicate with your partner to understand what they’re feeling and how you feel about the situation. Never make assumptions about their feelings and choose to always listen actively. Improving your communication with your partner may also help you come up with better ways to handle relationship stress. 

  • Be Careful With Your Words

On the point of communication, relationship stress can worsen if you let your emotions control your words. Instead of letting your emotions run rampant and ruin any chance of a friendly conversation, think through and be careful with your words. False compliments, accusations, or even exaggeration are not going to help. Instead of getting defensive, watch your words, the tone, the pace, and the pitch of your voice. 

  • Focus On Self-Care Too

Taking care of your mind is also very important when dealing with stress in a relationship. When you feel your stress overpowering your mind and actions, try some relaxation techniques and practice self-care. You can try breathing exercises, meditation, yoga, and even use aromatherapy, music healing, or massage therapy as an incentive. You can also go on a solo trip if you need more time to de-stress and clear your mind of the things that cause stress to your relationship.  

Seek Couples Counseling When Needed

If you and your partner are constantly struggling with repeated arguments, doubts, blame-game, relationship conflicts, or more then it might be a sign you need to seek couples counseling. Couples counseling can help you and your partner understand the cause of your stress, strengthen your bond, improve your communication skills, and handle relationship stress. 

Having a counselor to point out things can also help you and your relationship grow and heal. 

We hope that these tips will help you manage relationship stress and strengthen your relationship with your partner. 

Thanks for reading!